Darkness is not the kind of lover you would wish for. It will not shelter your heart from desire, nor will it keep you warm at night. It will not try to comfort you, nor will it reassure you when you are in doubt.
Why then? Why do I need you so?
You are my trustworthy guardian. You have the power to preserve life and to give true fighting chance. It is all that I need. You will not help, but you will be the arbiter of justice. You will not ease the pain, but you will give strength to bear it.
So let it begin. Let it be as brain-damaging as possible. Let it be a mess.